I LOVE TO KILL (1974)

CHARLIE’S REVIEW:

A ShockMarathon isn’t truly successful without a colorful killer or two. In past festivals we’ve enjoyed Ricky’s exploits in Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, Evil’s bumbling about in New Year’s Evil, Ken Whitehouse’s escapades in Slumber Party Massacre III, and I’ll even throw Umgar from Worm Eaters into the mix. Wow, that Umgar is a gem! Months later, though I may not remember all of a plot’s particulars, I will not forget a colorful killer.

This breed of killer isn’t for everyone. Almost invariably, his presence extinguishes any chance of outright horror. Rather than terror, you’re more likely to get some fun over-the-top performances, quotable dialogue, and a tragic death scene. I tend to enjoy the wackiness that this type of character adds to a ShockMarathon.

Some men are born to be colorful killers. William Shatner is one of the predestined few. Our old buddy dives into the role of Matt Stone, giving this womanizing con artist an awesome devil-may-care attitude. (I’m going to refer to the character as Shatner rather than Matt Stone, as this is more fun for me.) Shatner treats the world as his oyster, moving around from town to town, dating women until he becomes bored with them, scamming money in any way possible, and hanging with belly dancers. And, as this movie teaches us, “nobody is just friends with a belly dancer.”
But all that comes later. First, we get a prologue with Shatner as a young boy. It seems his mother was involved with an abusive man and, when things got too crazy one night, he was forced to take matters into his own hands. Everything about this scene is impressive, especially the cinematography. I was pleasantly surprised.

After such a tumultuous childhood, it stands to reason that this character would grow up to become an emotionally damaged adult. Our Shatner has no qualms about breaching society’s moral code to get what he wants.

Shatner totally believes in his will to power. When we meet him, he is in the midst of a serious relationship, but his arrogance and indifference show how little he cares for the woman. Quite simply, Shatner is using her for cash, as she buys him his “clothes, cars, and shaving cream.” Her nagging is becoming increasingly annoying, and she harps on the fact that she provides Shatner with these goods. That’s when Shatner decides he’s had it. That shaving cream comment was just too darn insensitive. So our anti-hero has no choice but to kill her and move on to the next town, the next woman. Memories of Terry O’Quinn and his work in ShockDecember’s The Stepfather began slip-n-sliding through my synapses.

After moving on to a new town, things start going well for Shatner. He’s got his eyes on a new woman, and he’s got some potentially profitable investment scam brewing. In addition to swindling money from his new woman, Shatner also hopes to use her personal connections to rope others into his ploy. Our con man must watch his back, however, as the woman’s daughter, Tina, is suspicious of his ways. Tina is a bright and observant girl, and there’s no love lost between her and Shatner.

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